Last fall we enrolled Tori in the Princess Ballet class at Music City All Stars (MCAS) for ages 3-5. I did not take dance as a child and have always wished I had. I have such admiration for the beauty and grace of dancers so I wanted our girls to have that opportunity. Tori loves to dance and she is a joy to watch but I was not sure if she would participate with a group and follow instruction. She tends to be extremely strong willed (a nice word for stubborn) and frankly you just never know which Tori personality you’re going to get. Often times it is the sweet and loving Tori who wants to hug everyone but if for whatever random reason she decides to be stubborn or becomes interested in doing something else well it can take a tremendous amount of negotiation, encouragement and patience to help her refocus. For some reason it is worse when there are a lot of people around, it happens much less at home, I can only assume that is because it is her safe environment.

Though her strong will can be a challenge at times it is also a trait I have been thankful for, this little girl is not a quitter! When she sets her mind to achieve a goal, it is going to happen. I noticed this trait very early in her physical development, via lots of baby grunting. We did not do intense therapy in the beginning, we decided we wanted to see what she could do on her own, though we did visit the Vanderbilt Children’s Down Syndrome Clinic every three months so all of the therapists could evaluate her, we called it “show and tell”. Of course, we worked with her regularly at home but honestly she kept up with all of the “typical” physical development goals mostly because she had this innate determination and would not quit trying, even when I would get tired or bored with teaching her to crawl she would just keep on trying….and grunting ☺ She was rolling over at two months, crawling at 6 months and walking with support of the sofa or wall at 12 months. We had one physical therapy session at Vanderbilt when she was about 18 months old where they rolled up a sheet, placed it under her arms and held it up above her head supporting her while she walked. It did the trick and that night she was off to the races, I still do not really understand how that triggered for her that she did not need support to walk but I am  thankful for experts who know what will work, what an amazing job they have! I was convinced after that experience I wanted all the therapy’s she could get.  Sign us up, I want to give her every opportunity to become the very best Tori she can be!

So back to dance….the dance studio has multiple TV’s in the sitting area that display each classroom allowing the parents to watch their children dance. Well the first class, Tori stayed engaged and followed instruction for about ten minutes and for the remaining 45 minutes of the class, she was mostly dancing freestyle in front of the mirror while the other children continued to follow instruction. She tends to get bored easily plus she loves to entertain herself in the mirror. The dance classrooms have mirrors covering most walls, my first thought was oh no this is not going to work. I felt bad watching the teacher trying to encourage Tori to refocus and as I watched, I had planned to tell her at the end of class we were probably just not ready. I thought maybe we should take private lessons first so she can get acclimated. When class was over I apologized to her teacher thinking she was probably super annoyed but to my surprise she responded kindly letting me know that she did not mind, that she’d taught a child with Down syndrome and each week she would participate a little longer, firstly for ten minutes, and then the next class, maybe fifteen and the next 20, so on and so forth then at the end of the season she participated in the recital with the rest of the children. I was still skeptical yet encouraged and grateful that she was kind and understanding. Thus we continued going to class though honestly I did not think we would participate in the recital. Mostly, I wanted Tori to have fun, to be able to experience dance and I figured it is a good method of physical therapy and exercise. Tori did learn the dance (and so did I) and we had fun doing it at home. I decided to see how she did in rehearsal and at that point determine if she was ready for a stage performance. I am always conscience of protecting her and never want to put her in a position where people might make fun of her. The rehearsal did not go so well, she did do the dance mostly but she did it in the back of the class and absolutely would not participate with the group. I was a little disappointed yet really happy that she had learned the dance and I kept reminding myself, we are just having fun, no pressure. So we did not participate in the December recital. I often thought, “am I putting us all through unnecessary stress” but I loved seeing the joy in her face when I would pick her up from pre-school and she would say “yallet, yallet Mommy?” Which is her way of asking if we were going to ballet class. So I decided to give it another season. This was our first try and well frankly, like Tori, I am not very good at quitting either (yes, I can be quite stubborn).

In January, when the new season began, the teachers informed me there was another class, called “1Team1Goal” that Tori could participate in where she would have a buddy that would help her and could redirect her when needed. It was designed for children with special needs of all ages, not just 3-5 year olds and she said it was totally up to me, that Tori could continue with Princess Ballerina or join the 1Team1Goal class. I was thrilled to have this option; it gave me a sense of peace, especially knowing that if we did participate in the recital her buddy would be on stage with her….so if she decided to run away or run up and down stairs at the theater someone would be with her. Each Wednesday, I rushed from work to pick her and Fallon up from school and rushed to get her to dance class by 6:15.

However, I still was not sure we would participate in the recital and had intended to tell the teachers much earlier than I had before but mid-way through the season they showed me her dance recital outfit and honestly it was so stinking cute I said to myself, “Okay I think we are going to do this!” Then they offered a “bun fairy” who would put her hair in the dancers bun, which was another stressor for me because Tori does not even like to have her hair brushed, how was I going to get it in a dancers bun?  Then they sent me a video of the dance which was to “Shake it Off” one of Tori’s favorite songs. We used that song many times to get Tori to transition. Transitioning is another challenge for Tori. Her therapists would literally sing “Shake It Off” to her when it first came out and dance through the school hallways to get her to transition from her classroom to the therapy room…another random trick that worked for some strange reason, thank you Taylor Swift ☺

Once again, the recital rehearsal was somewhat challenging, a new place (a church gym with risers), a lot of people….for her to hug, and a lot of stairs for her to climb up and down (she has an obsession with climbing up and down stairs). Her buddy and I chased her all over that place….but she did participate in the dance with the group. Once again, I thought maybe we just need to skip the recital, what if she runs away, what if she runs down the stairs in the audience full of people. I have this inner coach, when fear takes over that says, “suck it up butter cup, the show must go on.” Admittedly, I did stress all week but in the end I sucked it up and like always, I just prayed, I always pray…even over the silly things. I feel like God cares about it all, I mean how divine is it that the dance recital song was “Shake It Off” right? !?!?! AND a “bun fairy”?!?!

Very thankful to our dance instructors, Ms. Kirsten and Ms. Kara at Music City All Stars, Ms. Traci, owner of 1Team1Goal and Tori’s buddy, Sydney, for all they do!  Oh and the “bun fairy” the awesome lady who put her hair in the bun…super thankful for her too!

Tori and Traci

Here is the video of her first dance recital…no it was not perfect but in my eyes she was more than perfect; not at all expecting to be overwhelmed with emotion, I could feel the tears and the ugly cry starting to happen….once again I kept saying “suck it up buttercup.”

Tori is on the left and I would just like to point out her exceptional inverted toe-touch ☺